Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Jane & Edward & Fitzy


Jane Eyre enters, disheveled and breathless after running through the woods in an earnest yet fruitless quest for the cure for her romantic obsession.

On the other end of the stable, near an inviting patch of hay, she sees the shirtless Mr. Rochester shoeing a muscular black mare. His shoulders are broad and his arms ropey with sinew. Jane becomes flushed and clasps her heaving bosom in a way that signals her desperate longing. He turns and sees her there.

"Hello, Edward."
"I didn't see you there."
"Well then."
"Did you see the sunrise?"
"I did."
"What is it?"
"I feel I shan't ever..."

The mare stirs, a goose honks in the distance.

"Do you hear the geese, Edward?"

The sound of an approaching horse shatters the blistering sexual tension. A well-dressed man in a top hat rides up and dismounts somewhat smugly.

"Hello, Edward, you old rapscallion!"
"I say! Darcy!"

[tasteful literary threeway ensues]

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